This morning when I was reading my bible I had some pretty big realizations.  Okay, maybe most people do this all the time but I mean I was into some serious thought process which lead to joyful healing tears.  Cancer has made me think and look at things differently.  I can not say this happened to me over night like I have read for some.  For me it has been more of a long process. I do not wish cancer on anyone and I would never want to go through it again.  I can not say I would take it all away either as I have learned lessons I do not think I ever would have got with out my cancer.  Some of the lessons do not even have words to describe as they are more messages to the soul and heart that you just know to take with you. 

For instance, everyone around me knows my desires to multiply our family with another child.  While reading my devotional for today I drifted off into tears, got on my knees and started to pray.  I do not remember it all but I know I prayed with tears in my heart, eyes and soul while crying out to God to protect my family, let me be here to watch my boy grow up, graduate, get married, have kids and for me to watch play and really know his children.  I asked to see the seas part while all of my family comes to really know God and to see miracles in the midst.  I believe this will all happen just as I believe I am healed.  

I just know Stuart and I were meant for another child; I just do not know when it is coming.  

Because of Cancer I really do eat a ton better and treat my body as a temple as God has told us to do.  I am not perfect by any standards in this area but I am made leaps in bounds when it comes to diet.  I do however, know this change could have only come about because of my cancer.  Cancer has made me research and see how foods affect our bodies and influence health. 

Okay, this is getting quite lengthy.  So, I do not make you fall asleep right here at the computer I am stopping for tonight.